Alex's 'Natural Caesarean' and how hypnobirthing helped beyond the birth

We had a long and bumpy ride to pregnancy very nearly giving up all hope, so when the positive news arrived we were filled with both elation and despair at the fear of it all being taken away.  Despite the worries, I was lucky and had a very smooth pregnancy and was desperate for this to follow into the birth, hypnobirthing really built my confidence for this and made me so excited for the birthing journey.

So, when the 36 week scan showed our baby was predicted to be in the 98^th percentile for weight and with my historical complications a discussion ensued with the consultant as to the best step forwards.  Because of the confidence built by our hypnobirthing journey, I was able to assert my preferences and have a really positive informative discussion with the consultant where we all came to the agreement a caesarean was the safest and optimal route forwards and it was promptly booked for just two weeks later.

I worked through in my mind exactly how I would like the experience to feel and read up on the “natural caesarean” to enable me to write a clear and detailed caesarean birth plan.  We arrived at the hospital at 7am excited to be meeting our baby that day.  Whilst slightly strange knowing the exact date we would meet, it had also been hugely comforting having this clarity.  I was so excited and felt so ready, I’d completed some relaxation techniques, visiting my happy place, on the long drive to the hospital and felt calm and relaxed.  We met the midwives, the anaesthesiologist and the surgeon; all who talked through the procedure, their role and read my birth plan to confirm the majority was all possible and would be followed as closely as allowed.  

We were waiting until nearly 1pm to go into surgery, in a jovial and happy mood, rotating relaxed music listening with games of eye spy as Matt and I waited for our turn.  Then I walked into the operating theatre and suddenly I lost my heart.

Momentary panic set in, my heartbeat quickened and my bottom lip quivered.  This was both the fear of an operation (the operating theatre is suddenly a very real place!) but also the excitement and overwhelming emotion of knowing I was about to meet the son I thought we may never have.  

Everyone was incredibly friendly and the atmosphere was just lovely, I just needed to get my head back to where I wanted it.  Sitting down on the operating bed the anaesthesiologist talked through each step on the procedure and how I should expect to feel prior to giving me the initial pain relief injection ahead of the spinal tap.  This was when I had chance for some focused breathing, drifting into my happy place and settling my heart rate.  At the same time I worked on my pressure point in my hand to calm my nerves and settled into the room.  In less than a few minutes and I was calm once more, if still emotional at the thought of meeting my baby!

Once the anaesthetic took hold the room was ready and my music was now playing (after some fun connecting to Bluetooth, thank goodness that was Matt’s job not mine!).  The atmosphere remained incredible, all the doctors, nurses and midwives were just so positive, friendly and communicative.  I knew exactly what was going on at all times and kept completely in the loop – this for me was critical in feeling in control and keeping calm.  I did feel some pain at the start of the procedure, and so things were halted immediately whilst additional pain meds were administered (I had the option of a full general anaesthetic but I was desperate to be conscious when my baby arrived).  This gave the effect of a slight out of body experience and some spinning rooms, a little like lying down in bed after a far too big a night out!  The anaesthesiologist was talking to me the whole time to ensure my well being and so I couldn’t drift off to my happy place but it wasn’t needed.  Matt was by my side holding my hand and before we knew it, here he was; my son, a scream and the curtain was lowered, he was raised in the Lion King moment and I could see my gorgeous baby boy.

I was completely overwhelmed, so relieved, happy, full of joy and instant love.  I’d been warned that the love and bond between mother and baby can take weeks to form, for me this wasn’t the case, it hit me instantly.  He was just perfect.

They lay him on my legs whilst they followed my wish for delayed chord clamping.  I had requested skin to skin contact as soon as possible, however their view was a baby taken away from mother’s chest for the weighing and initial review is more upsetting than a few minute delay.  I was comfortable with this and agreed, the thought of him being taken away after a short time with me would have been too much.  Matt held him and watched as he was weighed and the first few initial checks given before being placed on my chest.  The wires and monitors had all been positioned to allow as much freedom for this skin to skin as possible.  He remained here happily gurgling and snuggling whilst the procedure was finished and I was ready to be moved.  Lying side by side, my baby boy against my chest, we were transported to the recovery suite where he began breast feeding and I enjoyed cuddles like never before.

The whole experience was just magical and perfect and so much better than I could have envisaged.  Matt and I were part of every minute and felt fully in control and communicated with.  I feel nothing but pride and love for our birthing journey and are so grateful to those that made it happen.

We were then discharged the following day and home early evening.  Unfortunately, our new member of the family had feeding difficulties and had taken on no food in 14 hours by the early morning and so we were rushed into A&E.  The journey there was horrific, and I used every piece of deep breathing taught during the hypnobirthing journey to try and maintain any composure for our baby.  Again, the staff were fantastic and soon had him feeding again and gaining strength – luckily he had enough chunk on him to get him through without any lasting problems.  However, it meant a further 5 days in hospital understanding the problems, working through resolutions, and following strict feeding patterns.  This was relentless, exhausting, and stressful whilst still unsure if he was receiving enough food.  In the first 4 days of birth I barely had more than a combined hours sleep as a result, and therefore utilised other coping mechanisms to see us through.  Again 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 breathing helped on multiple occasions when discussing plans with midwives and doctors.  Going to my happy place when struggling with feeding or on the verge of breaking down prevented many an episode, and most of all listening to the “Relax with Nature” MP3 in the few breaks I did receive allowed me the time to switch off and rest, even if not fully asleep. Vital to get me through those initial days and worries.

We are now home and our son is doing incredibly well eating us out of house and home.  I’m so grateful for the techniques and knowledge hypnobirthing gave me, not only for calming myself but for equipping myself with the confidence to ask the questions I wanted, to gain the information required to make informed decisions and maintain control through every step of the twists and turns childbirth throws.  

We’re besotted with our new arrival and have such positive memories of how he joined us in this world.