As a midwife, I struggled to let go during the birth of our first child. I was mentally present for the whole 60hours of our induced labour. I made clinical decisions and was constantly monitoring the wellbeing of our unborn child. As a consequence I felt like I was at work and my husband felt alienated. When we found out we were pregnant again (with twins!) I knew I needed to attend my labour/delivery as a mother, not as a midwife, so we decided to attend hypnobirthing with